We are the Rulers of WalMart!
by toofab
Summary: The Cullens are out on a mission to cause absolute destruction in the local Wal-Mart. They will do anything it takes to make the store as chaotic as possible!Are the elderly people fed up with all of these 'hooligans' running around? I think so! :
1. Just a little intercom prank!:

**Hello people of fanfiction! Yeah, this is another Wal-Mart story! But you know what makes mine different than all the others? It's way better! Haha just kidding! If you have the time a review would be nice(: But I would rather that you hold back on the rude and or mean reviews!(:Enjoy! **

Phase One: Just a little intercom prank!(:

~Rose's POV~

I slowly and silently made my way to the nearest phone on one of the big poles. I had to make sure no workers saw me. I lifted up the phone and dialed the number for the intercom. Emmett was the one that came up with this stupid idea and everyone else volunteered me. In a matter of seconds the store would be in complete ciaos. I spoke into the phone clearly so that everyone would be sure to hear.

"Attention all Wal-Mart customers, every item in the store is now free for the next five minutes. Just fill your cart and head out of the doors, the timer will start right… now!" I hung up the phone and sped away to watch.

Everyone in the store went crazy. People started screaming and fighting over things. I saw these two pregnant ladies fighting over this baby stroller. They were yelling things at each other. One spoke English but the other spoke Spanish. It was the only one left and finally the woman who spoke Spanish let go and flew backwards into a giant pyramid display of diapers. It was pretty funny. I saw another guy with his cart filled with toy puppets. He had one on each hand and he was talking to himself with them… Creepy! Next I saw a guy carrying some rope, a giant box of matches, a few grill lighters, a box of rubber gloves, and a chainsaw. He was laughing evilly and talking to himself also as he walked out of the doors. There was a younger girl with an armful of Justin Bieber posters, and what I assumed to be her mother trailing behind her with a cart overly full with groceries and other things heading towards the main doors.

I walked away and noticed all of these security workers guarding the main doors. A few seconds later a huge group of people came running with giant TV's and other electronic devices. They didn't stop when the security guards held out their hands signaling them all to stop. The people in the very front of the group plowed them all over, every single one of those poor guys, and the entire group ran out of the store.

The store was nearly empty now, I wondered around watching people fight over expensive things while looking for my family. It was entertaining. The five minutes was almost up and a few seconds later someone spoke over the intercom telling everyone that was left in the store that it was a prank and nothing was actually free. There were workers running around everywhere trying to find out who did the master prank. There were news crews all over reporting what happened. I overheard one lady who was talking into a camera.

"I'm here at the Forks, Washington Wal-Mart where things got a little out of hand today. Someone hacked into one of the intercom systems and told the entire store that all of the merchandise was completely free. All of the customers grabbed anything they could and ran out of the store. One of the security guards that were trampled broke his ankle when someone drove their full cart over his leg. The store manager has informed us that the store will be closing down for a few days to take inventory and to restock on supplies. But still, no one knows who to blame." She spoke with a serious voice and a serious expression on her face. I laughed as I walked away. When I met up with the rest of the family they were all laughing too.

"That was the best prank in the history of all Wal-Mart's!" Alice said still grinning.

"Nice job Rose!" Emmett said putting his arm around me.

"Did you see all the people trample the guards up front?" Edward said in amazement.

"We should get out of here. They are questioning everyone that is left. Plus, all the people are gone so we can't do much." Bella said.

"We will come back in a couple of days for phase two of the mission!" Alice stuck her fist up in the air like a super hero and we walked out of the store all laughing and suggesting other pranks and things to do next time. Our fun was just beginning.

**So what do you think? Wouldn't that be really awesome if that actually happened? I think so!(: So maybe if you review I will give you a purple cupcake with a big hug from Justin Bieber! :D Cuz who doesn't love some Justin Bieber? xD Alright so yeah I'm done talking! Let me know if I should even bother to write any more! Byee for now! **


	2. Mini Confetti Cannons & More!

**Hello! How are you doing today? Are you having a good day? A bad day? Well honestly I don't really care all that much… I mean I do but it isn't like you could actually tell me anyways soooo yeah… forget I said anything at all xD So did you like the first chapter? I'm going to need some brilliant ideas for pranks and other things that would get you kicked out of a Wal-Mart, so if you have any feel free to write it in a review and I might use it!(: Here's chapter number 2! Enjoy! **

Prank Number 2: Mini Confetti Cannons & Maybe Some fireworks!(:

Emmett's POV

It was my turn to do the next prank. Rose was the one who chose me to go next so I didn't object. So I came up with the idea to run around with those mini firework things that when you pull the string they make a 'POP' and then confetti goes everywhere. I'm going to sneak up behind people and set them off. Pretty easy if you ask me.

I creep around an aisle with baking products and saw my first victim. There was a middle aged lady with blond hair and purple streaks. Her arms were filled with random things. I snuck up behind her and I pulled the string. It made a loud 'POP' and confetti flew up in the air. All of the stuff she was carrying went flying through the air as she threw up her arms and screamed. She fell back against one of the shelves and a whole bunch of flour bags hit the floor and sent up a big cloud of white filled the air around her. It was absolutely hilarious! I ran out of the aisle at human speed and moved to the toys.

There was a lady with a big box of bouncy balls. Why this lady has a big box of bouncy balls… I don't honestly know. I took one of the confetti shooters (A/N: I don't know what they are called xD) and let it pop right next to the lady's ear. Next thing I know, bouncy balls are flying everywhere and she is tripping over them. The lady fell flat on her face and she then managed knocked over a display of finger paints. As the paint hit the ground, half of the aisle became a rainbow along with the lady. I walked away slowly humming the Batman song.

Now I think it's time to take it to the next level. I walked casually around looking for someone to scare. I found a cranky old lady who was muttering something about young hooligans these days. I grinned and pulled a firecracker out of my pocket. I lit the fuse a tossed it next to her foot. It exploded with a nice bang and she jumped like three feet in the air and let out a shriek of terror. I have never laughed so hard.

"Young man did you do this!" She pointed a crooked finger at me.

"Yeah I did and it was quite funny if you ask me." I said trying to contain my laughter.

"I don't think it was very funny at all. I am going to tell a store manager." She started to walk away all grumpily.

"Tell him I said hello!" I laughed.

"I will come back for you later!" She stomped away. As soon as she was out of hearing range I started cracking up. That strange old lady is now the main target of all things we do in Wal-Mart!

**So how about that lady? I'm thinking that she is going to return sooner or later! Any ideas on some crazy things to do in Wal-Mart? P.S. I'm going there now! :D Yay for Wal-Mart! Bad news guys! I start school tomorrow xP Ewww. Alrighty, please review!(: Oh yeah and the directors cut for Never Say Never: Justin Bieber movie comes out today and I really want it! :D Haha okay well byeee!**


	3. BATMAN!

**So I have some pretty awesome ideas thanks to some awesome people! Sneak Peek: Piggies! Duct Tape, Batman, and Justin Bieber! :D Haha I can't even tell you guys how much I love him! (My entire room is filled! Don't hate me!) Plus I have some plans for the random old lady who seems to hate Emmett xD Well here is Chapter 3! :P**

Here Goes Number Three: Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Batman!

Edward (Eddie!)'s POV

It's finally my turn! I have been waiting an entire week for this moment! So Alice made me a cape made out of a whole bunch of different colors of duct tape, and I get to wear it around the store wearing a batman mask, while singing Justin Bieber. Let's just say that the Justin Bieber part was not my idea at all. But I had to do it! And while I do all that, I have to go around hugging people… Also not my idea.

I walked through the automatic doors and said 'Hello' to one of the greaters. He looked at me questioningly but shook his head. (A/N: The Italics are people's thoughts)

_ I swear the people in here get stranger every day…_

He is definitely right about that one. I pranced around like a gay man(A/N: No offense to any gay people! I support the homosexuals!) and sang Somebody to Love. Don't ask how I know any of these songs. It's not like I have a secret obsession or anything I promise! So the first weird person I saw I ran up to and gave them a big hug! The guy jumped backwards, looked me up and down, and then ran away yelling, "That man is crazy!" as he turned and disappeared around a corner. This is fun!

Next I saw an older looking lady that had a bitter look on her face. (A/N: Yep! It's that lovely old lady!) She had a cane in her left hand and a giant purple purse in her right hand. I walked towards her.

"Hello ma'am! How are you this fine and lovely day?" I smiled at her. Before she could answer her I pulled her into a hug. She started hitting me with her purse and yelling, "Let me go you freak!" I let her go and she was bright red and she was coming at me with her cane. She started walking slowly towards me and I took a few slow steps back.

"Does someone need another hug?" I asked.

"I most certainly do not!" She yelled. Her face was as bright as a fire truck. I held back some laughter. She grabbed a magazine and threw it at me. For an elderly lady she had a good arm! I started running, at a human speed may I add, through the entire store. She chased me through the baby toys, through the electronics, through the bakery, and through the freezer aisle, as she grabbed random things off the shelves and threw them at me. I saw the rest of the family as I passed by. Rose had her arm crossed over her chest with a glare meant for me. Alice and Bella were laughing, and Emmett and Jazz were taking pictures. I stuck my fist in the air and passed them all. I heard someone mutter, "What a tard." I'm assuming it was Rose.

Next, I saw a little boy turn and look to find where all the commotion was coming from. I sang "Baby" By Justin as I jogged past him. His eyes doubled in size as he pointed and tugged on his mom's shirt.

"Look Mommy! It's Batman!" He then started to chase after me too. As I ran around in circles trying to lose the two of them along came three more. They were all little kids under the age of five. There was the first little boy, two little girls, and another little boy. Plus, the old lady was still following me but she was slowing. When she finally stopped I ditched all the little kids in the toy aisles and I took off the cape and the mask. I took a deep breath, just for emphasis as I met back with the others. Emmett high-fived me, and we walked out of the store in our large group. I held my head up in triumph. I am Batman! Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, BATMAN!

**Haha so what do you guys think? Just hit that pretty little blue review button and let me know!(: P.S. BATMAN LOVES YOU! ;) **


	4. The Three Little Pigs!

**Heyy guys! (: How is your week going? Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday! And who doesn't love Friday? Plus I got to sleep in because I don't have to take the bus! I got at 6:15A.M. That is awesome! xD Sad, I know. So yeahh! He is chapter 4! (:**

**Cha-Cha-Cha-Chapter Fouurrr: The Three Little Piggies!(Idea provided by DragongirlM! Woo!) **

Alice's POV: (Pink Ninja! Haha just an insider for an awesome friend of mine!)

It's finally my turn to show all of these people up! Rose did that lazy intercom prank. Eddie ran around like a retard. Emmett went around with firecrackers, and now it's my turn! So here's what going to happen, I have three mini pigs. I repeat three. So I put collars on them all to tell who was who. One has the number one on its collar. The next one has a two. And the third one has a four. Now I know that you are probably thinking: Why a four? Well when the workers finally catch them all they are going to be freaking out because they are missing one because they will think there's a number three. Get it? Good.

So as I walked inside with my pigs hidden under a coat I nonchalantly release number one in the clothing department. I then walked away all sneaky and what-not. Then I headed over to the toys and set number two free. And Last I went to the very back of the grocery part and said buh-bye to number four. I walked around for a few minutes and then I heard the screams. I walked a little too fast over to the clothing department where it was squealing and running from a store employee. It knocked over a Miley Cyrus poster for her clothing line and sent a few racks of clothing crashing to the floor.

The poor worker was tripping over all the clothes on the ground as it tried to get a good grip on the pig. It scrambled through this ladies legs and the employee tried to do the same and the lady tumbled to the ground landing on top of the guy. It was priceless. He was all tangled in her legs and when they tried to get up their feet were twisted in all of the fallen clothes, causing them to fall over again. Then two more employees came to the rescue a few minutes later and ended up catching the poor pig. It was time to move on the next one.

I danced over to the other side by where the toys were located. I heard a bunch of commotion and waltzed over to investigate. The pig was running everywhere. It knocked over a nice pyramid of board games, which landed on a random guy. Then it ran to where all the paint was stored in the next aisle over where two more employees were waiting. It squealed and ran in between the girl's legs. She fell backwards into the shelf crowded with paint. Paint containers crashed to the floor spraying paint _everywhere._ The guy worker tried to run after the pig but slipped in the paint and landed hard on his back.

The pig went scurrying in the other direction leaving multi-colored footprints behind it. A store manager ran into the aisle to see what the problem was but he couldn't stop fast enough and he slipped in the rainbow mess and fell on his butt. I walked away, shaking with laughter. This was seriously the best prank yet.

Over in the freezer area I searched for the third pig but it was nowhere to be found. I walked the other way and found it in the pharmacy. There was only one employee trying to catch this pig. It dashed out of the way as the man dove for it. He landed right on his face. Like his face hit the tile hard. The pig ran towards a shelf of nail polish. Two workers dove for the pig, and they both crashed to the ground and slid. One of them hit the bottom of the shelf with his head and nail polish clattered to the ground. Some broke open, but some bottles just bounced and hit them both on the heads. It took three more employees and a store manager to catch the last two pigs. The rainbow one took three employees to catch due to its slipperyness and the last one only took one smart person who didn't choose to dive for it.

I chose to spy on the managers. They had the pigs in an office.

"We're missing one!" One of them exclaimed.

"How do you know?" A girl asked.

"Because their collars say one, two, and four. Where's three?" He asked. They all gasped. "Now go out there and catch that pig before anyone else causes a catastrophe.

About ten different employees ran out of the door and scrambled in different directions. Someone came over the intercom and made an announcement.

"Attention all Wal-Mart customers, if you happen to see a pig please tell any Wal-Mart worker. Thank you!" The speakers cut off and the store was filled with nervous murmurs. Everyone was searching for this pig but no one was lucky enough to find it. The manager was walking around nervously cursing to himself.

After twenty minutes of hardcore searching, and us Cullens walking around saying "There it is!" every few minutes they finally declared that the hunt was over. We left in total victory for causing such a disaster. We also declared a new competition: Who can make the biggest commotion in Wal-Mart? I'm going to win. I hope.

**Sooo let's hit that review button! It's right below this bold writing! ;) I seriously do a happy dance when I get a review! So let's make me happy! :D**


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